Letting go of control: why I stopped trying to plan everything
As a mom of a busy toddler, wife to a hardworking husband, and owner of a growing business, there are many opportunities to control. Many times I want things to be perfect. But they aren't. And that's the way it should be. Life happens in the imperfect, messy moments and I don't want to miss out on that. I want to live a life full of imperfect, messy moments and enjoy every second of it. I want to look back and know that my life was full of what really mattered. In the end, does it really matter if things are perfect? And what if they already are? What if you just need to embrace your life the way it looks now?
I have been a little bit of a control freak most of my life. Ok, maybe a lot. It has come out in my parenting, my marriage, and my daily life. But for a long time I didn’t look at it that way. I thought I was being diligent, getting things done, and making decisions. I felt like I was doing what I thought was right and making it happen. It wasn’t until I felt the aftershock of my controlling moments that I knew it was doing more harm than good. I realized that I was controlling even when I didn't know it.
I don't mean this in a negative way. I wasn't intentionally trying to control everyone and everything. I was simply striving for what I thought I wanted. I was attempting to make things go the way I thought they should. But ultimately, I was making things harder on myself and everyone else. And when I stopped trying to control things into perfection and started embracing my life the way it is, things changed.
Everywhere we look, there is “perfection”. We are surrounded by things that constantly tell us we need more. More house, more clothes, more money. That we never have enough. But in reality, we do have enough. Comparison gets us in trouble with this so often. When we start comparing ourselves and our things to others, we feel like we don’t have enough. We stop being content with what we have and where we are and start wanting more. This leads us towards that fatal trap of perfection. It makes us believe that there is such a thing as perfection out there. We perceive others as having the perfect life, and we want that.
I got stuck in this trap of comparison and perfection, and I found myself wanting out. There are things in my life I wish I could change. At this time last year, I was fighting the situation and doing everything I could to make it different. There were many nights that ended in tears because I felt helpless. I was spending all my time and energy being angry, sad, and unhappy with the way things are. I wasted time trying to change it, when I could have been enjoying what was in front of me. Instead of trusting in God and his plan, I was trying to force my own.
Life wasn’t perfect. It wasn’t the way I envisioned it to be. It still isn’t. But I know that the way it is now is so much better than anything I could have ever imagined. This may not be what I wanted, but it is what God wants for me. I slowly realized that by focusing on Him and His plan, everything else would take care of itself. Things are still tough. The situation hasn’t changed. But I feel differently about it because I am learning to be content with where I am and what I have. I stopped comparing myself to others and started focusing on what I have been given. By using what I have, I am able to live fully in the moment and encourage others to do the same. Learning to be content is a process. One that I am still going through each day. But learning to be content was one of the biggest steps I have taken towards letting go and living my version of perfect.
If you are working to let go of control, give yourself more grace, and embrace the imperfect moments of life, the new shop collection was created just for you. Be sure to hop over to the shop to see all the new designs and start living more intentionally today.
Do you find yourself trying to control everything? How do you let go?
PS: If you liked this, you might also like How one simple word can change everything.